from emptiness to everything
Dear Hogan,
Today you turn one month old. I’ve been thinking about what I want to remember about this month, what I want to tell you about it and I guess the first thing is to say how absolutely amazing and terrifying and exhausting and exhilarating and overwhelming these past 4 weeks with you have been. From the moment I saw those two pink lines on that pregnancy test, I’ve been getting ready for you, reading books and arranging furniture and buying diapers but nothing prepared me for becoming your mom.
More than once, I’ve fallen apart because this is HARD kiddo. But it’s worth it. It’s so worth it, when I speak and you turn your head towards me or when I sing your lullaby and you bury your head in my neck and clutch my shoulder. Sometimes I hold you long after you’ve fallen asleep just to feel your warm breath on my neck, even though I fuss at your father for doing the exact same thing.
You love to eat. You love to sleep. You love to lay on your father’s chest and nap. I’m not sure if you love to poop, but you do it like you’re getting paid for it. More than once I’ve had to fill your bathtub and hose you off from the sheer volume of poop. You are certainly your father’s son.
I can’t believe it’s been a whole month. It seems like yesterday when I pulled off your tiny cap and exclaimed “look at all that hair!” And I can believe it’s only been a month. I hardly remember life before you. There is so much for you in this world little man, so much waiting for you. I can’t wait to see you grow, to see you sit and stand and walk. I want to watch you read books and play ball and sing and do absolutely anything your heart desires. You’re amazing, and I pray every day that I can grow to be the mother you deserve.
Welcome to the world Hogan. You’ve gonna love it.
I love you,
Mama
Today you turn one month old. I’ve been thinking about what I want to remember about this month, what I want to tell you about it and I guess the first thing is to say how absolutely amazing and terrifying and exhausting and exhilarating and overwhelming these past 4 weeks with you have been. From the moment I saw those two pink lines on that pregnancy test, I’ve been getting ready for you, reading books and arranging furniture and buying diapers but nothing prepared me for becoming your mom.
More than once, I’ve fallen apart because this is HARD kiddo. But it’s worth it. It’s so worth it, when I speak and you turn your head towards me or when I sing your lullaby and you bury your head in my neck and clutch my shoulder. Sometimes I hold you long after you’ve fallen asleep just to feel your warm breath on my neck, even though I fuss at your father for doing the exact same thing.
You love to eat. You love to sleep. You love to lay on your father’s chest and nap. I’m not sure if you love to poop, but you do it like you’re getting paid for it. More than once I’ve had to fill your bathtub and hose you off from the sheer volume of poop. You are certainly your father’s son.
I can’t believe it’s been a whole month. It seems like yesterday when I pulled off your tiny cap and exclaimed “look at all that hair!” And I can believe it’s only been a month. I hardly remember life before you. There is so much for you in this world little man, so much waiting for you. I can’t wait to see you grow, to see you sit and stand and walk. I want to watch you read books and play ball and sing and do absolutely anything your heart desires. You’re amazing, and I pray every day that I can grow to be the mother you deserve.
Welcome to the world Hogan. You’ve gonna love it.
I love you,
Mama
posted by Jennifer at 7:23 AM
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